Oh. There's the emotion.
Jul. 21st, 2011 05:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lovefromgirlDad suggested we call Aunt Pat tonight, and I'm just now wondering whether that's on her cell in the hospital, because I want my uncle to hear my voice just one more time.
Most of the time I seem like I'm made of stone because I take on reality as soon as I know what it is. The thing is that if I didn't, I'd fall completely apart at the worst possible time. My dad's going to need me real soon. So the part of me that is beating against the walls and screaming about how unfair this is has to do so when I'm alone. They don't need this. Mama, maybe. But Dad would go to pieces, and he cannot go to pieces. He has too much to deal with.
I just want to tell Gene I love him. Just one more time. Please?
...
Completely unrelated to this: If you are unhappy reading my journal or want me not to read yours, please tell me. I don't always know when I'm being an asshat, and unlike my dad before he got into therapy, I actually want to know. I will understand--life is too damn short to surround ourselves with people we don't like. I don't want people around who don't like me.
Most of the time I seem like I'm made of stone because I take on reality as soon as I know what it is. The thing is that if I didn't, I'd fall completely apart at the worst possible time. My dad's going to need me real soon. So the part of me that is beating against the walls and screaming about how unfair this is has to do so when I'm alone. They don't need this. Mama, maybe. But Dad would go to pieces, and he cannot go to pieces. He has too much to deal with.
I just want to tell Gene I love him. Just one more time. Please?
...
Completely unrelated to this: If you are unhappy reading my journal or want me not to read yours, please tell me. I don't always know when I'm being an asshat, and unlike my dad before he got into therapy, I actually want to know. I will understand--life is too damn short to surround ourselves with people we don't like. I don't want people around who don't like me.