[sixty days of simple] communicate:

[lovefromgirl]

{ the list @ Marc and Angel Hack Life }

1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds. Don’t make other people try to read yours. Communicate.

I love to communicate.

I don't believe in playing stupid petty games. I don't believe in making anyone else guess what I'm thinking. I believe in openness and honesty. There's nothing anyone should automatically know about me, though it is kind of nice when people remember.

If you have a problem, if you have a question, if you have a compliment (please?)--TALK TO ME. Because I want to hear what you have to say. Don't play games with me. I will take you at face value regardless of the hints you're trying to drop. The more complicated your interpretation of my actions, the further off the mark you're likely to be. Don't assume anything. Make darn sure.

And if I say "I don't know", don't push me (Mom). There is a lot I don't know. There is very little I am willing to pull out of my behind for the sake of giving an answer. Given time and space, I will give you a good answer. Just don't ask a zillion times.

any questions?

Comments

[cieldumatin.livejournal.com]

If I may make a comment on the "I Don't Know" thing...

That phrase can be taken to mean many things - "I don't know and I don't want to think about it", "I don't know and I could use your help to sort it out", "I don't know, but I'll work it out on my own".

Me being a fixer type of person tend to see the IDK as an invitation to at least work with you to put a box around what it isn't (because by knowing what it isn't sometimes it helps you know what it is, within a tolerable bound). I have experienced you getting upset with me because me trying to help you with the I Don't Know wasn't welcome.

Often I ask because I do care about the answer, and "I don't know" doesn't reassure me in the least. It gives me no information.

So as a suggestion, both for me and your mother, and others, perhaps - could you add more information to the "I don't know" to indicate where you are at in terms of wanting to know? And if people ask probing questions as a follow-up, often it's because they really would like to know, not because they are deliberately trying to make your life difficult.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

Short answer: Absolutely, and this is a good point.

Long answer: Thanks for being so willing to talk this out. <3

[kayjayuu.livejournal.com]

In a moment of truthful political passion (which I seldom do on my LJ), I stated things about my feelings that caused you to remove or screen me from your flist. Suddenly a few months ago you reappeared. I haven't said anything because I'm assuming -- and fear -- that you re-added me in error.

Do you want me here? If so, I'll stay and even comment like I used to do. If not, I'll go.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

I'm slowly learning how not to be a radical to the point where it hurts others. It's a cautious process, and I'm having to do a lot of understanding others. I defriended you from a place of fear and anger, but looking back, I can't muster up the same feelings, which has to mean it was a knee-jerk reaction.

tl;dr Please stay?

[kayjayuu.livejournal.com]

Gladly.

I'm sorry I offended you before, no matter how it came about.

I'm so happy to see you be gentle and loving with yourself. You deserve it. *hugs*

[simonejester.livejournal.com]

Right on. I'm all about the openness, though I have a tendency to be a little too blunt. I guess it beats mincing words, but this is why I need to get off my ass and be assessed and see if I actually have Asperger's and maybe I can learn how to be honest without being harshly blunt in CBT?

Anyhow, I agree with you.